Why We Created This Site
We are passionate about family issues, largely because our life path together has involved a genuine struggle with infertility and blended family issues. This purpose is why we started Hardesty House Infertility. Our vision is to strengthen the American family by growing with and supporting struggling families. We are here to serve all families, but especially those facing infertility, fostering, adoption, and the unique situations of blended families.
We are not professionals, but we do know first hand how infertility and blended family life can affect everyone involved. We know how the toughest days seem like they will never end. We understand the incredible struggle emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, financially, and spiritually. We know the feelings of isolation, vulnerability, and even inadequacy. Infertility can place an enormous amount of stress on a marriage and individually make you feel like you’re facing the world alone. You are definitely not alone. We genuinely care and want to help the best we can. Please know that we are praying for you already. We would like to know you and your story so that we can pray more deeply for you. We would also like to ask if you would include us in your prayers as well.
We are looking to the future, and have created this website with the hope of raising enough support to become a recognized non-profit organization or foundation. Our long-term goal has two parts: To provide enhanced support for a wide range of family needs and eventually offer assistance with research and grants to families struggling to grow their family. With that in mind, creating and maintaining a non-profit is a significant undertaking. There is a great deal of hard work to do. Fundraisers and donations are necessary for raising the capital we need to complete the many supportive and required legal steps that must be taken along the way if we are to reach our goals.
In phase one of Hardesty House Infertility, we are accepting applications for our Facebook infertility support group. We understand that making access to this group a bit more exclusive by using an application process may deter some people from joining. However, we also understand how personal infertility is to millions of couples. We have high expectations toward giving the members of our support group the safest, most encouraging environment possible. Active participation in the group will build hope for the future by establishing a community of people who care about family. We encourage you to share your stories and experiences and to participate in providing recommendations and encouragement for others in the group. We’d like to invite you to spread the word about Hardesty House Infertility because it is the level of response and support we receive from individuals, groups, churches, communities, and more that will allow us to take the next big step.
During phase one, we will also be building out our website and social media presence, designing and testing software for crowdfunding, connecting with volunteers, doing fundraiser activities, developing future grants proposals, blogging, and much more. In this phase, we would like to ask for your support by participating in our first crowdfunding effort to have a baby. We appreciate every donation and every donor is eligible to be recognized on our appreciation wall, either personally, as a business/organization, or “In Memory Of” someone else. If you would also like to volunteer your time, talents, ideas, or some craft items to sell, please contact us today and let us know.
Phase two of Hardesty House means other couples in the infertility community will also be able to crowdfund, participate in fundraisers to have a baby or adopt, and eventually apply for grants. We want to pay-it-forward to other couples who are struggling with growing a healthy family. However, for the time being, we are just two passionate individuals with a simple website. It is supporters like you and people you know who can come alongside us and really make beautiful things happen.
How Much Does Infertility Cost?
If you’re having difficulty conceiving on your own, then you’ve probably thought about fostering and/or adoption. If not, then I would recommend that you investigate those possibilities more deeply. There are many children in this country and abroad who need a loving home. While it is true that any road to address infertility is going to be expensive, building a healthy family is worth it.
If receiving medical treatment to help you conceive is the route you choose, then you’ll want to do your homework on IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) and IVF (In-vitro Fertilization). Costs for either procedure vary greatly depending on where you live. IUI is expensive, although much less than IVF, and it has a much lower success rate than IVF. IVF can cost anywhere from 17 to 75 times the cost of IUI but comes with a much higher success rate, and for some couples is the only way to conceive. Each method has its own set of pros and cons.
Three different doctors have told us that going with IUI would statistically be like throwing our money away, given the specifics of our situation. So, if the goal is to conceive, IVF is our only option.
About Chadwick Hardesty
My life’s story started roughly 47 years ago. The doctors told my parents they would never have children, and then I shocked everybody when I arrived. In fact, I would become the oldest in a family of five children over the next decade.
I hated school growing up and dreamed of the day I wouldn’t have to go anymore. As an adult, however, I found a deep passion for constant learning and personal growth that will last my lifetime. You might say I just needed to live my life until I found my “why.” That passion guided me in meeting my future wife.
Originally from southeast Kansas, I moved to central Missouri in 2001, when my employer built a new facility. Later that year, I would become a father.
In 2011, I met my wife, Hilary. We decided to get married the following year and began trying almost immediately to have children. Almost eight years later, we are still trying. Hilary is an incredible bonus mom to my teenage daughter, Heaven, so I know she would make an amazing mother.
I enjoy the balance of big ideas and keeping my feet on the ground. I started Hardesty House Infertility because I want to have a growing family with my wife. Even more than that, I understand this feeling of infertility, and I want to offer help to the many other families who understand the same pain. I see infertility as one of those life experiences that temps you to live every day in your problems. Yet I’ve learned that being a part of something bigger than yourself, like volunteering time to benefit others, helps lift some of the weight of those problems off your heart and shoulders.
I believe it is important to be real. Like a lot of people, I do not live a financially rich lifestyle. Our home is modest, our vehicles are more than 15 years old, and we get by paycheck to paycheck. Having a blended family, for us, has presented some unique financial and emotional obstacles. I work hard to provide for my family, but my daughter lives out-of-state. The distance between my daughter and I has severely damaged a once happy and beautiful father-daughter relationship. It’s traded butterfly kisses, pinky promises, and the ability to attend all her life events for ongoing conflicts and the sense of almost becoming a stranger in her life.
Then, there is infertility. I can relate when having a conversation with someone going through the same struggle. I understand where the personal thoughts of inadequacy and the feelings of incompleteness come from. I know what it’s like to hear all the well-intended advice from friends and family. I’ve been to the doctors and fertility conventions. I’ve invested the time at the kitchen table with Hilary talking about blended family issues, biological children, fostering, and adoption. I’ve spent hours in front of the computer researching everything I can think of to “fix” the situation, and trying to understand what is possible and what to do next.
Something tells me what I learned is going to be challenging for some people to accept. What I have found is that attitude truly matters. I see myself as incredibly blessed and have a long list of things in my life to be thankful for. Life is both fantastic and messy all the time—yin and yang. It is a journey, but so priceless to learn how to live a more positive life, despite life’s struggle. My advice to anyone would be to keep moving toward your dreams but not while sacrificing the best blessings you already have in life. For this, I am truly fortunate because the people in my life have the same passion for the institution of the family that I do, and we are passionate together! I choose every day how I want to live with and solve my problems. The result…I respect problems, not befriend them. Every road has them, and I make a point to learn something from them every day. I pray, have faith, and I have an attitude of counting the times I get back up, instead of the times my problems knock me down. I’ve chosen to remain committed to the fundamental building block of our country—the family.
This description is who I am. It’s how I think, feel, and believe, where I came from, and what I’m doing and have done. I see myself as your friend, and I want to connect with you. Life pulls us all in many different directions, so it means a great deal to hear from you and know we have your support. Thank you!
About Hilary Hardesty
As of the summer of 2016, I am 32 years old. I’m originally from Jamestown, Missouri, but moved to Columbia, Missouri, in 1999 with my mother and two siblings. From a young age I admired the strength and determination my mother exhibited in raising her children. I’ve always dreamt of the day I would get to be a mother myself.
I went to college, became an RN with a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and began a career in Obstetric Nursing. I am now a Health and Fitness Coach for a website Chad and I started called EPIC Fit Club. I still occasionally pick up shifts in Obstetrics, but I spend most of my time as a Supported Living Community RN working with people with developmental disabilities. It’s a great and challenging job and I really enjoy working with the clients and staff. I still dream of the day when I can add the job title “Mommy” to my resume.
There’s so much more to say. We hope that you will stay tuned and come with us on our journey toward parenthood. We’re praying that you and God can facilitate a miracle for our family.
Our Life Together
We met online in 2011. Looking back on life, we believe it was God’s timing that we met and not our own. Neither one of us was impressed all that much by the online dating scene, so it’s quite amazing that we were able to navigate the often disappointing and sometimes unnerving experience and finally connect.
The following year was an emotional roller-coaster. It included the joy of getting married and the pain and stress of going through family court concerning the relocation of my daughter out-of-state with her mother. Not only was it an incredibly bittersweet time, but the heaviness of the situation seemed to stick to us like a glue that refused to come off for several years. Still, we understand just how blessed we are to have the kind of relationship and strength within our marriage that we have. It often takes love like that to make it through the toughest of times.
If you’ve read the rest or our “About Us” page, then you know we are already a blended family. When Hilary and I got married, we included my daughter, Heaven, in the service. Hilary wasn’t just marrying me, she was getting a package deal. This was an important first step for us as a family. Two years later, we started on a new path as a sponsor parent through Compassion International to a girl in Ecuador named Denny. Denny is about the same age as Heaven, and we enjoy communicating with her through letters and photos. We’ve never met Denny personally, but we love her and pray for her regularly.
We strongly believe in fostering and adoption and are making our way through all the steps necessary to become foster parents. Our hearts and prayers are with all the children who need a loving home. Early on, we attended some meetings through the Columbia Adoption Project to learn more about the adoption process and talked about the potential of adoption, but having the resources to adopt right now seems equally as challenging as IVF. We want to move forward with IVF, but we know we need to remain open-minded about all of our options.
Having a child of our own would be a genuine answer to prayer. We’ve been trying to conceive ever since we got married, but nothing has worked. We’ve faithfully tried a majority of the supplements and prescriptions often associated with improving fertility. We’ve read many books and articles about infertility, been a part of support groups, attended infertility conferences, and sought out professional advice to find answers and gain some hope of conceiving naturally. We’ve practically done and tried it all within our budget. Finally, our doctors told us that IVF is our only chance for a baby.
Due to our financial situation and our ages, there’s just not enough time, according to our biological clocks, to acquire the funding needed to afford IVF or to adopt without the support of others like you. We are great at helping other people, but asking for help is a whole different ball game. We want a growing family, but we also want to be known as a family who serves others.
Our vision is to partner with others like us who want to see the American family restored, the desire for family addressed, and the future of our country’s children strengthened. We are building a community of people who need help and want to help. We want and need your help to succeed.